


dreaming of you

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Harry dates that brother, Infidelity, It still features pretty heavily though, Jealous Harry, Louis has a brother who is two years younger than him, M/M, Smut, The Liam/Louis is casual, There is no conflict there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-05-17
Packaged: 2018-03-30 22:49:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3954814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s as he’s smoking on their shitty little balcony that it really dawns on Louis. These thoughts he’s having are about Alex’s boyfriend. His <i> brother’s </i> boyfriend. Louis is an awful person.<br/>He’s always been the kind of person to want what he can’t have and while he’s never wanted anything like this, he can’t stop thinking about it now. How small he’d look next to Harry. How he could easily pin Louis to a wall. How good his long, thick fingers would feel on him, <i> in him </i>. He feels his dick twitch and leans against the cold glass door leading back into the house.</p><p> <br/>[or; Louis falls in love with his brother's boyfriend.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	dreaming of you

**Author's Note:**

> :)

Louis is not having a good day. Honestly, _fuck_  his boss for making him work an extra shift. He wouldn't mind generally – could really use the extra cash – but today he’s supposed to meet his brother’s new girlfriend and Louis wanted to make a good first impression. Like being on time and looking at least vaguely human, except now he looks like he spent the day in an oven and _smells_  like sweat and day old coffee.

He pushes open the back door of the little French place he works and breaks into a light jog. The cold wind whips the smell of the back alley bins into his face, making his eyes sting. There’s exactly three minutes til the bus and Louis is running but he’s not holding onto much hope. Today just hasn't gone his way.

The bus is pulling away from the stop just as he rounds the corner and he curses his boss one more time for luck. There are fifteen minutes til the next bus and now he’s officially late. Which is just fucking typical, honestly. He shoots off a quick text to his brother and pulls out his cigarettes to keep him warm during the wait. What he needs to make this day better, is to find someone for a quick shag. Maybe he’ll go out to a club tonight after dinner.

 

XxX

 

Alex spots him quickly and grins from across the restaurant. His girl is clearly not here yet, which makes Louis breathe out a little relieved, but sitting across from Alex is a tall boy with curly brown hair held up in a bun, wearing a shirt that is clearly too sheer for this weather. At least he won’t be third wheeling tonight, that’s always a little awkward. Alex likes to make a girl feel special and has no problems ignoring his brother in the process.

“Baby bro,” Alex shouts the second Louis is near enough, “you’re finally here.”

Louis shoots back a customary, “I’m two years older than you, dickhead,” and follows it up with a more startled, “Oh shit, hope you brought keys. I don’t think I have mine?”

Alex’s, “Yeah mate, I realised. Saw yours lying on the table when I was leaving,” makes him relax again.

Louis leaves the space next to Alex for his girl and pulls out the chair next to the boy he doesn't know. He picks up his menu and turns to who he assumes will be his main source of conversation tonight.

“Hey man, I’m Louis, Alex’s brother. It’s a good thing you’re here, thought I’d be third wheeling tonight. Alex isn’t very good at dividing his attention when there are ladies.” he says with a little chuckle.

The guy’s face is striking, strong jawline, green eyes and big lips – he’s pretty much exactly Louis’ type. Well Louis’ type is _has a dick and is into Louis’ dick_  – but the guy is gorgeous, is his point. Louis picks up his water and reconsiders his post dinner plans as the guy splutters a little and tries to form a response.

Louis hears Alex choke on his drink across from him and turns around with a little frown. “Uhm, actually, like, he’s my – I’m here with – This is Harry. He’s my date,” Alex stutters out.

Apparently, it’s Louis turn to choke on his drink.

“He’s your date.” Louis repeats weakly after about a minute of coughing and Harry awkwardly patting him on the back in an attempt to help. He regains his bearings after a second and levels Alex with a quick look, before turning back to Harry with a bright grin and his hand outstretched. “I’m sorry about that. It’s lovely to meet you though. Do you mind if we start again?”

Harry takes his hand immediately and grins back. “Not at all mate. I’m Harry, Alex’s boyfriend. You must be Louis, I've heard so much about you. Like how you really enjoy putting your foot in your mouth.”

It catches Louis off guard how willing Harry is to overlook his stupidity and he blushes a little even as he laughs out loud, and catches Alex relaxing back into his seat with a grin of his own. “Mate, you have no idea. It’s like in my top three favourite pastimes.”

Harry is even more attractive when he throws his head back to laugh and Louis has to resist the urge to slap himself for having put these thoughts in his head already, before even finding out if Harry was single, let alone if he was dating his fucking _brother_.

The rest of dinner goes by without incident, with everyone making light conversation and Louis trying not to glare at Alex too obviously. After saying their goodbyes, Louis sets off in the direction of the car park without waiting. He’s leaning against his brother’s car for a couple of minutes before the car unlocks and Alex rounds the corner. The drive home is silent but tense.

 

XxX

 

Alex breaks just as Louis puts the kettle on to boil.

“Did you not like Harry? I thought you got on well at dinner. He’s really lovely you should give him a chance, Lou.”

“Harry was fantastic.” He doesn’t feel like making this any easier on Alex so he doesn’t elaborate.

“So it’s me you’re mad at, then? Is it because he’s a boy? Because like, you’re gay Lou, I don’t really think you have a leg to stand on, on this one” Alex’s staring at the counter as he says it and that just makes Louis angrier because Alex clearly knows what this is about. 

“Yes Alex, I’m angry because you’re dating a boy. Really, just spot on with your deduction today.” It doesn't come out as sarcastic as Louis wanted. He _is_  angry, but he’s also hurt that Alex didn't think he could trust Louis with this. That thought stings more than he’d like to admit, so he’s focusing on the anger for the moment.

Alex looks up at that and Louis takes the opportunity to level him with his most scathing look. He hears the kettle click off but for once his conversation has taken precedence over his tea.

Louis and Alex look nothing alike. Alex is tall and looks like he chose weightlifting as a career path, where Louis is small, though he loathes admitting it, and counts on football to stay in shape. So Louis feels a bit smug when Alex takes a little step back before he starts to speak. He clears his throat when nothing comes out and tries again. “I’m sorry. I thought – I thought – I don’t know what I thought Lou. I wanted you to meet him but I didn't know how to tell you not to expect a girl.”

Louis is not letting him off that easily. “Oh, I don’t know. How about: ‘Hey Lou, have dinner with me and my boyfriend next week. Oh yeah, I’m gay.’ Or, ‘Hey Lou, I’m gay. Just FYI.’,” he replies offhandedly and finally turns around to make some tea. He pulls down two cups because while he is angry he does know how hard it can be to come out for the first time and tea makes everything better.

He expects Alex to laugh a little awkwardly or maybe blush and stutter out another apology but instead Alex turns his head so quickly that he winces a little, “I’m not _gay_  Lou. I still like girls as well.” 

It’s a little too sharp for Louis’ liking but that’s not the issue right now. He rolls his eyes and makes his reply a little biting. “Okay, you’re bi or whatever the fuck you want. But you said you’ve been with him for nearly two months so you still could’ve told me your date tonight was going to be a guy. What did you think I was going to do?” He keeps his voice quiet, curls his hands around the two steaming mugs and stares Alex down from across the room. When he realises that he’s not going to get a response, he slides a mug down the counter, throws a sarcastic “Good night,” over his shoulder and heads towards his bedroom.

That night he dreams of the dinner they just had except Louis doesn't make a fool of himself. 

 

XxX

 

Breakfast the following day is tense but Alex stops him with a sincere apology just as Louis' about to leave for a lecture. Louis' already late so he shrugs it off and runs for the bus but he can't deny that it makes him feel a bit better.

That night he picks up some curry and beer on the way home and pushes open the door of their flat to find Alex sprawled out on the couch, captivated by an episode of Adventure Time. They spread out Louis' haul on the coffee table and spend hours just talking and eating. They don't really talk about the night before but Alex apologises again and Louis shrugs and gets over himself. The beers he's been sipping on all night definitely help.

Louis snapchats a picture of themselves surrounded in takeaway containers and beer bottles to Lottie before starting to clean up.

She replies with a picture of Daisy covered in glitter and silly string.

Just before he heads to bed Louis turns to Alex with a cheeky smile, "I have to say though you have excellent taste in boys." He extends his arm to demonstrate Harry's height and follows it up with a few quick hip thrusts. Alex rolls his eyes, grins back and yells a very pointed "Good Night _Lewis_."

Louis laughs before he shuffles to bed. 

He doesn't dream of anything that night.

XxX

 

On Tuesday he walks home with Niall after work, the two of them making vague plans to go out together later. Niall disappears towards the bathroom as soon as the front door is open and Louis dumps his things on the dining table and heads towards the kitchen, kicking off his shoes at the same time. He's idly wandering where Alex is when he sees Harry at the sink filling up the kettle.

Louis is surprised enough that he bumps his hip into the sharp edge of the kitchen counter making him squeak out a quiet “Fuck, _ow_." Harry turns around in slow motion almost, green eyes wide with surprise. Louis stops breathing. Harry is _stupidly_  pretty _._  

Louis’ mind is so busy fantasising about Harry using those big hands on him that he forgets to _say_ anything out loud. Before he can bounce back and greet Harry though, Niall barrels into him with a yell. "Lou, Alex is in the bathroom and I'm going to feckin’ burst if I don't –” he stops to grin delightedly, "Harry? What the fuck?" and launch himself at Harry, who just pushes out a pleased laugh and catches him.

Louis has no idea what's happening right now. He demands an explanation. This is _his_ house. And that is _his_ best friend hanging off of the most beautiful boy he has ever seen, bar Zayn. He decides to cut into their giggle whispering and _demand_  an explanation – just as soon as he’s stopped staring at the way the muscles in Harry’s arms shift as they hold Niall up.

"Um." His high school debate coach would be so proud of the strength in that argument.

Niall slides his legs back to the ground and they both turn to Louis with equally giddy grins. Louis smiles back a little tentatively and opens his mouth but Niall beats him to it.

"Why did I not know that you two knew each other?" Niall's smile dims a little and Louis frowns a bit, but this time he knows how to fix it.

"We don't babe. Well not really, I met him once. He's Alex's boyfriend."

Niall turns around to look at Harry, who's gone back to making everyone tea, “ _You’re_  Alex’s boyfriend?” and then remembers something and turns back to Louis. “ _He’s_  Alex’s boyfriend?” he clarifies with an exaggerated eyebrow waggle. Louis hates himself for telling Liam and Niall that Alex’s boyfriend was hot. They are the least subtle people he has ever met. 

He might have said more than just hot. There was alcohol involved. Louis refuses to be held accountable for any of it.

Niall pauses for a second as he realises what he’s just said and his eyes widen comically. “He’s _Alex’s_  boyfriend?” and while he was expecting that line of questioning earlier, Louis is still going to tattoo the definition of subtlety on Niall’s forehead. He narrows his eyes as he nods and Niall’s eyes get even wider as he opens his mouth like he’s going to repeat it. Louis is seriously considering stuffing the sock he’s holding into Niall’s mouth, when Harry interrupts them with a giggle – _a giggle_. Louis needs a moment. 

“Ni, feel free to use some of those other words you know. I’m sure you know more. Zee must have taught you a few new words in the last two years.” Niall grunts and tackles Harry, who barely stumbles. Harry’s laugh is deep and amused and Louis realises he needs to get his shit together before he offers to get on his knees for Harry in front of Niall.

Harry turns to Louis and gives him an amused look like they’re sharing an inside joke and _Louis does not have his shit together yet._  It is too soon to have that much of Harry’s attention. He is too young to _die_. Everything is awful, he needs a distraction.

He’s just about to excuse himself and go out for a smoke when Alex strolls in to the kitchen like Louis’ thoughts had summoned him. He grins at them all and Niall dashes past him with a “Fucker, took you long enough.”

It leaves Louis, Harry and Alex alone in the kitchen and Louis _does_ go out for a smoke then because he doesn’t want to watch as Alex reaches for Harry’s hips.

It’s as he’s smoking on their shitty little balcony that it really dawns on him. These thoughts he’s having are about Alex’s boyfriend. His _brother’s boyfriend_. Louis is an awful person.

He’s always been the kind of person to want what he can’t have and while he’s never wanted anything like this, he can’t stop thinking about it now. How small he’d look next to Harry. How he could easily pin Louis to a wall. How good his long, thick fingers would feel on him, _in him_. He feels his dick twitch and leans against the cold glass door leading back into the house.

He resolves to not do anything about his little crush. Louis is nothing if not stubborn.  Alex likes Harry and Louis loves Alex. Plus, Louis will probably get distracted by the next pretty thing that walks by. Harry is gorgeous, funny and a little bit quirky and Louis is not interested in him as more than a friend.

He’s hoping if he says it enough it’ll start being true.

He steps back inside to see Harry and Alex making out against the kitchen counter, four mugs of tea cooling beside them. He pulls on his tightest pair of jeans and leaves with Niall, all without interrupting Harry and his brother. It’s still early when they meet Liam and Zayn at the diner down the road but the rest of the night is a blur to Louis. He recalls loud music, colourful shots and a lot of dancing with anyone who wanted to.

He takes Liam home with him that night but he dreams of green eyes and long curly hair.

 

XxX

 

His hangover the next morning is not nearly as bad as he thinks it should be. Rolling over is a bit of a struggle with Liam a dead weight on top of him but he manages to wiggle out and hurry to the loo for a piss. He’s trying to count all the love bites on him while brushing his teeth when Harry walks past the door in nothing but a pair of black briefs that leave nothing to the imagination. Louis chokes a little, rinses quickly and hurries back to his room.

Liam is awake when he gets back and apparently definitely feeling the effects of the night before, if the way he glares at Louis for slamming the door is any indication. Louis gives him a kiss and the glass of water he brought back before stripping down and getting back into bed to steal all of his warmth.

Liam finishes his water and starts to kiss him, tongue darting into Louis’ mouth almost immediately. They grind on each other lazily but Louis is still distracted. It doesn’t take long for Liam to pull away, “You okay babe? Want me to brush my teeth?”

Louis’ doesn’t even mock him for his bad breath, just buries his head in Liam’s chest with a groan. “Harry has so many tattoos.”

Liam starts to rub his back as he speaks and Louis can feel himself melt into his arms. “You have so many tattoos though.”

Liam has completely missed the point. Louis should maybe mention the point.

“I just saw him in these tiny little boxers Li. It was awful.” It comes out muffled, from Louis’ head still being buried in Liam’s chest, but he knows Liam’s heard by the way he doesn’t even try to hide his laugh.

Louis risks losing his comfortable position and lifts his head to glare at Liam. “I don’t appreciate this. I didn’t appreciate Harry in boxers either.”

Liam’s moving before he’s even started speaking. He pushes the blankets away from himself and Louis really likes where this is going. “Will it help if I blow you?” he asks, although he’s already pulled Louis down the bed. Liam starts to jerk him off slowly til he’s fully hard in his hand and tongues a little at the head before he looks up at Louis from under his eyelashes. He winks dirtily, drops his voice a few octaves and whispers against the tip of Louis’ cock, “You can call me Harry if you like,” before taking Louis down all the way in one go. Louis is helpless to the moan he lets out as he bucks up into Liam’s mouth.

He smacks Liam on the head and then leaves his hand there, fingers gripping into his hair.

(He has to admit that he’s really going to miss the sex when Liam starts dating again.)

 

XxX

 

After that Harry is nearly always at their apartment. Even if Alex is in class or at work. Louis finds himself getting along with Harry really well, really quickly. He learns to ignore his feelings and begins to think of Harry as one of his best friends. Harry for his part seems more than happy to just talk to Louis for hours until one of them realises they’re late for something and rushes off. 

Louis learns a lot about Harry. He hears about how he really loves his family but hasn’t found the time to go visit them in nearly five months. He learns that he’s studying law which is how he met Alex and that this is his first serious relationship since high school. How he spent most of his first year at parties with strangers, where he met Niall. That he’s known Zayn since he was two but they didn’t get along til Harry was ten because he was jealous of Zayn’s black hair.

In return, Louis tells him about his and Alex’s family. That they went to visit their girls last month and every time he thinks about it, it just makes him miss his mum’s hot chocolates. He tells him about how studying medicine is a lot harder than he expected but that he’s also enjoying it a lot more than he thought he would. He explains how Niall has been his best friend since they were eight and how Liam joined them when they were fifteen. They talk about how Niall is going to be the best music teacher and Harry laughs when Louis tells him he’s worried for the children Liam will be teaching geography to and worried _of_  the children Liam will be teaching gym to.

Louis loves the time they spend together, alone or with the other boys. He keeps noticing Harry physically and them getting along this well doesn’t help at all. Louis is more than ready for the next pretty thing to walk by. _Thank you very much._

Occasionally when they’re with everyone else, he’ll find himself turning his head to look at Harry snuggled under Alex’s arm, only to find Harry already looking at him. Louis can read Harry like a book by now but he still doesn’t know what to make of those moments. It’s always Louis that looks away first.

He tries to stay away if it’s just Alex and Harry hanging out around the flat. Goes to Liam’s for the night or occasionally harasses Niall and Zayn. He’s heard Alex with Harry through the wall more times than he’d like to think about. He’s also wanked off to Harry’s sounds more times than he’d like to think about, but that’s neither here nor there.

Niall, Liam and Zayn have stopped taking the piss out of him for lusting after his brother’s boyfriend. He doesn’t know how to feel about that either. He doesn't know if they’re sick of him talking about Harry or if they’ve noticed that it’s no longer just a crush.

He is so fucked.

Louis can’t help but notice that Alex and he don’t talk as often as they used to. Alex always claims to be busy and Louis doesn’t know how to talk to him without giving away that he’s gone for Harry. It takes a while, but soon he’s lucky if he sees Alex at breakfast and they don’t have dinner together in front of the TV anymore. Louis doesn’t know how to fix it.

He calls his mum one night and after talking about everything and nothing she rings off with a “Keep an eye out for Alex. Love you sweetie, bye.” Louis has to swallow against the surge of guilt that rises up his throat.

It’s been four months and Louis has gone a total of ten days without dreaming about long legs and wet, pink lips.

Admittedly, Louis is not known for his incredible decision making abilities which is why he finds himself drunk at four in the afternoon leaning against Liam’s doorbell, three days after Alex and Harry’s six month anniversary. Liam opens the door in only tracksuit pants and stares at him for a minute. Something on Louis’ face must tip him off, because before he knows it he’s being bundled into a warm hug and dragged through the door. They settle on the couch and Liam lets him cry quietly on to his shoulder. Louis doesn’t know why there are tears but they’re there and they feel important. He also feels tired and defeated and so ready to sleep for the next _decade_.

His eyes are itchy and his throat is dry by the time he’s run out of tears and he’s sitting entirely on Liam’s lap hiccupping little dry sobs into his neck. He expected a good cry to make him feel better but now he’s more tired _and_  sober. So, the opposite of better. Louis is so done with today.

Liam starts off at a whisper, “Babe,” but gets a little louder when Louis just sniffles, “Babe, I need to know you’re not hurt, love. Please.”

Louis doesn’t have the energy to reply but he pulls the sleeves of his jumper down over his fingers and hugs Liam tighter around the neck. Liam carries on quietly as if that was an answer. “Is this about Harry then? Did he do something or have you just realised that you’re in love with him?”

Louis looks up at that because – because Liam’s right isn’t he? Louis’ in love with Harry. Louis’ actually in love with his brother’s boyfriend. This is definitely the stupidest thing he has ever done, including that time in year eight when he dared Niall to jump off a low roof with him and they both ended up in hospital with a few broken bones.

Liam looks at him for a long time, eyes searching. Louis doesn’t know what he’s looking for but he lets him stare for as long as he likes. Liam sighs like he doesn’t like what he finds and leans down to kiss him soundly on the mouth. Louis whimpers and arches up into the kiss, making it deeper and more intimate. He wants to feel wanted for a change. Liam doesn’t take his mouth off his lips when he starts speaking again. “I can’t believe you _just_  realised you love him Lou. It’s why we don’t bring him up anymore if we can.”

“What do I do, Li?”

Liam leans back and pulls out his signature sad puppy face, “I don’t know sweetheart. It’s your brother.”

Liam takes him to bed, fucks him slow and sweet. Louis’ orgasm rips through him, leaving him raw and twitching for a long time afterwards. He falls asleep with his head pillowed on Liam’s chest.

His dreams are broken, snippets of a bigger story. He sees long arms holding him close as he moans against a porcelain white tub. He sees milky white thighs covered in love bites. He sees green eyes roll back and flutter shut as the body under his hands shakes and shudders. He sees the dinner they had that first night except Louis doesn’t make a fool of himself.

Louis gets over it. Well – no, he doesn’t – but he learns to put it aside. It doesn’t matter if Harry loves him back or not. He just wants Harry to be happy and if Alex is going to do that for him then Louis will grit his teeth and move the fuck on.  

 

XxX

 

Louis is sitting on the kitchen counter ostensibly helping Harry make dinner for ten. He’s really just throwing carrot peels at his head but Harry takes it in stride. Laughs, jumps out the way and bats away the ones that get too close to his pots with a stern look at Louis. He’s on his way back from the fridge when he picks up a stray peel and sticks it up Louis’ nose, all in a move so graceful you’d never know he was capable of tripping on thin air.

Louis shrieks in horror and snorts it out.

When he looks up to scowl at Harry, he finds him folded in half wheezing as he struggles to laugh and breathe at the same time. Louis kicks him in the shin repeatedly and then hooks his ankles under his arse to drag him closer. Harry comes easily and leans against the counter in between Louis’ thighs as he tries to stop laughing long enough to take a breath. Louis uses the opportunity to reach for his nipple. Of course Harry catches his hand in time even while struggling to breathe, well versed in avoiding Louis’ nipple twists.

He looks up at Louis grinning like an idiot once he gets his breath back to normal and Louis is still floored by how _stupidly_   _pretty_ he is. He realises he’s staring at Harry’s lips when he notices the smile drop off his face and slowly shifts his eyes back to Harry’s. Harry is staring at him, with a look on his face Louis doesn’t want to interpret. Except – except, Harry doesn’t seem to be on the same page.

Harry holds eye contact as he leans in and Louis can feel his breath against his face when he pauses with their faces millimetres apart. Louis’ heart makes a good case for breaking out of his chest.

Several things happen at once. The front door bangs open as the hallway fills with noise, something on the stove starts hissing aggressively and Harry’s hand slips and swipes a plate off the counter. A few people come in with loud greetings and begin cleaning up the broken plate as Harry quietly slips out of his grip and goes back to the stove.

Louis stays frozen in place until Zayn comes around and pulls him into a hug.

The rest of dinner is awkward for Louis even if only Liam, Niall and Zayn seem to notice. The fact that Alex doesn’t notice is testament to how much they’ve drifted apart in the last few months. Alex spends dinner with his arm around Harry’s shoulder, talking to the four girls he invited.

Louis doesn’t know how to get away from the flat without bringing attention to himself so he passes the night wedged between Zayn and a pretty girl named Eleanor. She spends the first half an hour flirting with Louis until Zayn puts a hand on her knee and tells her he’s gay. She laughs off the embarrassment and doesn’t leave.

Louis stays with her even when Zayn goes out for a smoke break.

He catches Harry staring at him a few times but he ignores it, doesn’t know what else to do. After a while Harry shrugs out of Alex’s hold and levels a look at Zayn before disappearing down the corridor. Zayn quickly kisses Louis on the temple before following after him. Louis cuddles with Eleanor on the couch for a while and listens to stories about her ridiculous roommates – she lives with a physics student, a dancer, a model and a boy band enthusiast. She admits to liking the boy band enthusiast the best.

She eventually goes back to her group of friends who are all still sitting around the table with Alex, Liam and Niall. Louis recognises Jade and Sophia from seeing them around campus and the last one as Ava, a regular at his little French café. He giggles a little to himself when he sees Eleanor eye the empty seat next to Ava and then sit on Sophia’s lap.

Liam catches his eye as soon as Eleanor’s sat down and is coming towards him with Niall in tow when Louis shrugs back. They cuddle in either side of him, and Liam lets Niall, who’s a little giggly from the wine they had with dinner, finish his story.

Niall’s quiet for a second before he starts to whine. “Where’s my boyfriend? I miss my Zaynie. Louis, bring him back to me.” Niall demands. His sad eyes are out in full force but Louis has been immune to that look for years, so he stays just where he is.

Also, Zayn is with Harry and Louis really doesn’t want to deal with that right now.

Liam keeps his voice quiet, “What happened? Zee said you looked spooked when he came into the kitchen.”

Louis stays silent for a long time as Liam and Niall stare at him, not pushing. Niall seems to have sobered up a little. It’s barely audible when he replies. “Harry almost kissed me.”

Liam closes his eyes on an exhale and Niall’s mouth falls open. Eleanor gives him a curious smile from across the room. Louis feels like a particularly captivating TV show. He’s not entirely opposed to the idea.

Harry and Zayn come back just as he’s about to elaborate. He shuts his mouth abruptly and waves at Niall and Zayn when they say they’re leaving. Zayn kisses his forehead and Niall gives him a hug and his _don’t be sad_ face. Jade, Sophia and Eleanor leave soon after, he waves them down the stairs as well, but Eleanor runs back to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Louis laughs and holds on to her a little longer. He walks back inside to see Harry, Alex and Ava sitting around the table. Ava and Alex are laughing a little obnoxiously and Harry is staring at Louis intensely. He stays rooted to the spot for a minute before he scrubs at his face with the palm of his hand, slams the front door shut and drags Liam to bed.

That night Liam is rough and demanding. Doesn’t stop fucking Louis even when he’s trembling and oversensitive. Liam makes him come another two times before he pulls out, flips Louis over and comes on his arse and thighs. It’s exactly what Louis needs. And if he’s a little louder than usual then that’s between him and Liam.

That night he dreams of Liam holding him close. He sees Liam lean up to kiss him except his eyes are green and everything shifts before their lips can touch.

 

XxX

 

The next morning Louis resolves to stay away from both Alex and Harry for as long as he can. Of course, Alex chooses that day to make a fuss about barely seeing Louis anymore and forces him to join him and Harry for a Harry Potter marathon.

Louis lets them cuddle under the blanket on the couch and pulls the beanbag towards the coffee table before plopping down. He can see Harry out of the corner of his eye and he looks tense but it doesn’t seem to be for the same reason as Louis. He notices Alex whisper something and cuddle him closer but Harry’s shoulders don’t relax.

They sit through the first movie and Alex’s phone doesn’t stop buzzing on the coffee table for most of it. Eventually, Harry picks it up and tosses it on to Alex’s stomach, with a “Just go help her with whatever. I don’t care,” before getting up and heading to the kitchen.

Louis watches him go before he turns on Alex. “Who do you need to help?” it doesn’t come out as casual as he’d hoped. He can still hear the supressed anger ringing in Harry’s voice.

Alex is typing on his phone, and shrugs. “Ava, I guess. She wants a hand moving some boxes. He’s just mad because I walked her home last night and apparently took too long to come back.”

Louis is suspicious already. Harry is not the irrationally jealous type. “How long did you take to come back?”

He sees Alex tense imperceptibly, “I mean – not that long. We just walked really slowly and then we talked a little longer at her place. And it was like cold when I was walking back. So it just took a bit longer than usual.”

Louis is fucking fuming.

The sharp, warning tone in his voice has Alex’s head snapping towards him. “Alex. _Alex_ , tell me you didn’t. Tell me you walked her home and then came back.” He takes a breath, “Tell me you didn’t fucking _sleep_ with her.”

Alex keeps staring at him as his phone buzzes in his hand and it makes Louis want to punch him in the face.

He looks in the direction of the kitchen quickly before leaning towards Louis and whispering urgently, “We didn’t – I mean – we didn’t mean to. It’s different being with a boy and – and _I’m not gay_ Lou.”

Louis has never heard him sound this distressed.

Louis is getting uncomfortably close to punching him in the face.

He digs his nails in to his palm to stop himself from shouting, breathes in and pitches his voice low, “I’m going to need you to get the fuck out. I’m –,” Alex’s phone buzzes loudly again and Louis snaps, raising his voice, “fucking go.”

Alex’s stare is fraught with confusion and betrayal, but Louis doesn’t care right now. He needs him to leave so that Louis can go check on Harry who is undoubtedly listening in.  

He gets up with Alex and watches him grab his keys and walk out the front door. Louis stares at the empty hallway trying to think of a way to comfort Harry. He turns around when he feels someone staring and sees Harry leaning against the door frame, eyes red rimmed.

Before Louis can get a word out, Harry closes the distance between them in two quick strides and grabs Louis by the hips, backing him into a wall. Louis closes his eyes from the impact of his back hitting the wall, and then there are lips on his; frantic and demanding. His mind goes completely blank for a few seconds. It kicks back in when he feels Harry push in closer and he finally grips into his hair and pulls him in.

Louis kisses him back just as fiercely, licking into Harry’s mouth, tasting the sweetness of the tea he was drinking. He whimpers quietly when Harry curls his tongue just right, and feels more than he hears Harry grunt in response. Louis’ hands drift down from Harry’s hair to the back of his neck as Harry begins to flit his hands all over Louis’ body like he can’t decide where to touch him first. They settle on the small of his back for a second to pull him in even closer and then Harry huffs and grabs Louis’ arse with both hands. It startles a moan out of Louis and he pulls away from Harry’s lips to try and catch his breath. Harry just moves on to sucking kisses into his jaw as he squeezes his arse again. He pulls Harry back to his lips when it gets too overwhelming.

Louis is considering pulling his shirt off when Harry abruptly pulls away with a soft, angry “Shit. _Fuck,_ ” and nearly runs for Alex’s room. Louis stays propped against the wall, feeling hot and cold all over.

He’s still there when Alex comes back twenty minutes later.

Louis eventually goes to bed. He dreams of running out of breath and silky hair slipping out of his fingers.

 

XxX

 

The next morning, Louis wakes up a few hours before his shift at the café. He’s walking into the bathroom when he sees Alex kissing his way down Harry’s throat on the couch. He slams the toilet door shut and leans his palms against the sink, breathing hard. He looks at his reflection in the mirror and everything tilts and blurs before righting itself. He’s _angry_. He’s angry with Alex, he’s angry with Harry and he’s fucking furious with himself.

If Harry’s going to pretend it didn’t happen though, then that’s fine. Louis will definitely move the fuck on if that’s the kind of dickhead Harry is. If he’s going to go back to Alex after he cheated on him, then Louis is better off without him anyway. He closes his eyes when they begin to sting and Alex kissing Harry’s neck plays on a loop behind his eyelids. He snaps them open, straightens up and gets in the shower.

_Louis is moving on._

Alex intercepts him between the bathroom and his bedroom. He explains that he apologised to Harry, promised to never do it again and Harry took him back. He tries to apologise to Louis but Louis waves him off faux-casually, holds onto the towel around his waist a little tighter and almost runs the rest of the way to his room.

He’s _starving_ but when he gets to the kitchen Alex and Harry are sitting at the counter eating toast, Louis nods at them, grabs his bag and leaves. He can eat at work.

 

XxX

 

Harry practically moves in after that. If Louis thought he was at their flat all the time before, he clearly stands corrected. He’s around all the time but manages to avoid talking to Louis.  He can feel Harry’s eyes on him a lot more often but Louis never bothers turning around. Louis is _moving on_. Anytime he finds himself in danger of being left alone in a room with Harry, he leaves for a smoke or pretends to text Liam or Niall.

Alex is still a little careful around him. They talk even less than before. 

Weeks go by and Louis doesn’t tell anyone about the kiss. 

The moving on doesn’t go so well. He tries hooking up with strangers at clubs but he keeps picturing Harry in their place. He tries burying himself in coursework but finds himself straining to pick up Harry’s voice as he talks to Alex in the front room.

Louis is tired of himself and tired of waiting for Harry.

 

XxX

 

He comes home to an empty flat one evening and realises he hasn’t been fucked in a bed since the fateful dinner with Ava. He texts Liam to come over and makes himself a cup of tea before having a shower.

He’s just settling into a Friends episode when Liam knocks. Louis pulls open the door and drags Liam into a wet kiss straight away. He kisses Louis back passionately without a second thought, as one of his big hands goes straight for Louis’ arse.

Louis is a little light headed from how quickly he got hard. In his defence, he’s been gagging for it since Harry kissed him. He moans and then whimpers needily against Liam’s mouth, “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me. Please. _Li_.” It comes out a bit louder than he intended, considering they were still in the hallway outside Louis’ flat. Liam brings his other hand up to cradle the back of Louis’s head and kiss him deeper so he doesn’t register Niall’s laugh right away.

When he does, he pulls away sharply and looks over Liam’s shoulder for Niall but he gets stuck on the look on Harry’s face.

Harry is standing next to Niall (who is still laughing into Zayn’s neck) with his hands in the pockets of his coat and a glare that pins Louis to the spot. He barely registers the wary look on Zayn’s face.

Harry is _jealous._

The thought hits Louis like a train and he doesn’t know if he wants to jump for joy or punch Harry in the face.

Louis is still hard but he doesn’t worry because Liam hasn’t moved from in front of him, catching his breath with his forehead against Louis’ shoulder. Niall hasn’t stopped sniggering when he pushes past them with Zayn. He giggles out a, “Alright Tommo. Relax.”

Louis lets them pass and then shuffles inside to lean against the wall with Liam still attached to him. Harry comes in last and closes the door with a soft click. He pretends to fuss with his coat and scarf in the hallway instead of following Niall and Zayn into the living room. 

Liam turns his head until his mouth is against Louis’ ear, “I’m sorry I brought the boys. I thought we were just going to hang out.” He hears Harry scoff quietly, which makes Louis a little angry but the way Liam is nibbling at his earlobe keeps his attention. He shivers and ignores Niall’s cat calls as he drags Liam to his bedroom anyway. When he turns around to shut his door, Harry’s face is dark as he openly scowls at Louis.

Liam’s on him the second the door closes. He pulls Louis’ jeans and pants down to mid-thigh, pumps him and teases at his hole until Louis is throbbing in his palm. Liam’s mouth is filthy when he wants to be and Louis forgets to muffle his sounds. He braces himself against the door and comes when Liam asks huskily, “Do you think Harry can hear you beg for my cock, babe?”

They don’t stop. Liam takes him to bed and fucks him till he’s shaking.

When they go back outside, Niall starts to cackle and Zayn lifts an amused eyebrow. Louis doesn’t spare Harry a glance and instead plops down beside Niall and laughs at Liam when he blushes.

Something flips in Louis after that. He spends the rest of the night cuddled up with Liam and acting as couple-y as possible. Calls him babe and kisses him on the cheek at every chance. Liam catches on quickly and plays along.

He pulls Louis closer while Chandler and Joey play fireball on TV. He leans down to whisper, “Are you going to tell me what happened or am I just going to keep pretending to be your boyfriend while Harry tries to kill me with his mind.” Louis shifts slightly and stays quiet. “Alright,” Liam shrugs unbothered and squeezes him closer.

Louis accidentally catches Harry’s eye then. Harry blinks and looks away quickly before frowning at the clock on the wall which makes Louis realise that Alex isn’t home yet. His classes finished more than three hours ago. He feels his stomach sink.

Harry gets up for a drink and Louis doesn’t think before following him into the kitchen. It isn’t until he’s got Harry’s watery eyes fixed on him that he realises _he’s alone with Harry_.

Louis doesn’t let the silence get uncomfortable. “I’m sure he’s just running late. It’s barely ten o’clock yet.” He doesn’t want to make excuses for Alex but he doesn’t ever want to see Harry cry.

Harry looks down at his fingers and shakes his head. It’s quiet for a moment before, “I ran into Ava a few days ago. Asked her if Alex was single and she said yes, that he’d told her he was. She said she was hoping to change that soon. It’s her birthday today – I just. I knew really. Even when he came back that day, I knew he was lying. I don’t know wh-”

Louis’ stomach quivers along with Harry’s voice. He moves into Harry’s space and tilts his face up with two fingers when he doesn’t finish the sentence. The tears tracks streaking his face break Louis’ heart. He tucks some of Harry’s hair behind his ear and pulls him into a hug. They stay there swaying on the spot until Zayn comes in and takes Harry home.

Liam and Niall are eerily quiet when he goes back to the living room. He curls up in the space between them, looks down at his hands and finally tells them everything.

Liam puts his arm around Louis’ waist and Niall holds his hand. Louis thinks about how he doesn’t appreciate them enough as they don’t mention the tears on his cheeks.

Alex comes home well past midnight and none of them say a word to him.

 

XxX

 

Harry doesn’t come back after that night and Louis worries.  He doesn’t know if he should text Harry himself and he can’t bring himself to ask Zayn or Niall, so he does what he can and worries.

His absence gets obvious enough that Louis decides to ask Alex about it one night. It’s the first time they’ve spoken to each other in weeks. He finds Alex in the kitchen and Louis thinks that he should stop having all his conversations in here.

“Where’s Harry been lately?”

Alex looks up from his phone clearly startled that Louis is talking to him. He locks his phone absentmindedly and then stares at his fingers as his mouth moves around nothing. Louis stays leaning against the doorframe while Alex clears his throat and tries again, “He, uhm – he doesn’t want to – He ran into uhm – He broke up with me?”

Louis surprises even himself with the venom in his tone when he replies. “Good. You fucking deserve worse than that.” Alex is staring at him with his mouth open and Louis is more than willing to elaborate but then he actually processes the ‘ _he broke up with me_.’

Louis is dressed and out the door in record time.

He’s only made the walk from their place to Harry’s a few times but he remembers it well enough. He uses the time to think of what to say when he sees Harry. By the time he reaches Harry’s building he’s had no good ideas. He doesn’t think yelling _please love me_ in Harry’s face counts as one.

He’s walking up the last few stairs when Harry’s door opens and he lets out a fit boy with dark skin and a kind smile. Louis smiles when he recognises Dayo from his course but it freezes as he watches Harry lean in to kiss him casually and Dayo giggles a little.

Dayo sees Louis on his way down and beams while patting him on the shoulder. He smiles back on instinct and turns around to meet Harry’s surprised eyes.

Louis ignores Harry calling out to him, spins around and hurries back outside. He stops at the end of the street to catch his breath and turn his phone off.

He’s embarrassed and hurting. He feels like a fucking idiot.

He wastes the rest of the night walking around aimlessly and goes back home hours later to fall straight into bed.

He dreams of that dinner they had the first night except Louis doesn’t make a fool of himself.

 

XxX

 

When he wakes up he turns his phone back on again to find four missed calls and three texts, all from Harry.

_From Harry (22:50): Answer your phone dammit._

_From Harry (23:25): Come back._

_From Harry (23: 47): please_

He ignores them and goes over to Liam’s where he knows Niall will be too. He spends the day messing around with his favourite boys and pretending everything is fine.

He goes home late and books a train ticket to Doncaster for the weekend.

 

XxX

 

He doesn’t tell Alex when he leaves on Friday night. Jay takes one look at his face and slaps him upside the head before pulling him in for a warm hug. They’re soon interrupted by a gaggle of girls tackling Louis. He loves coming home.

It takes his mum less than an hour after his sisters have gone to bed to get Louis to tell her the whole story. He starts from the beginning but doesn’t look at her once.

When he eventually glances at her, her lips have thinned and the lines between her eyebrows are pronounced. Jay just pulls him into another hug.

He realises how much he’s fucked up when his mum doesn’t know what to say. That finally breaks him and she holds him closer as he cries into her shoulder and tells her that he never talks to Alex anymore. 

She doesn’t say anything at all.

He gets back to London on Sunday night and Alex looks betrayed when he walks in. He doesn't say anything though and neither does Louis.

His heart pangs when he remembers the way they used to make a road trip out of driving home together.

 

XxX

 

On Tuesday night he's sitting on the kitchen counter waiting for the kettle to boil when Alex leaves for dinner with Ava. He hears him speak softly near the front door but Louis stays where he is. He knows Alex isn't talking to him.  When Alex talks it's never to him anymore.

He's leaning his head against the cabinets behind him when Harry’s voice cuts through the silence, making him jump and hit his head against the cupboards _hard_. "Alex let me in. Is that o- _Shit_ are you okay?"

Louis stays where he is with his eyes closed as his head begins to throb.

The kettle finishes boiling and Louis hops off the counter to start making himself a cup of tea. His cheeks heat up when he feels Harry’s eyes boring into the side of his face but he stays silent. Harry’s voice is low when he speaks again.

“Look at me Lou,” he pleads.

Louis is finished making his tea but he stays staring at his mug instead of pushing past Harry to get to his room. He’s not angry anymore. He’s just embarrassed and _so in love_. He leans his hip against the counter, holds his mug in front of him like a shield and finally looks up.

Harry looks stunning with his curly hair loose, a pale blue head band tied lightly around his neck and wearing a soft, worn out maroon jumper. His eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes are very obviously tired. Louis’ chest _aches_ with the sight.

He looks back down at his tea when the silence goes on for too long and murmurs, “That’s my jumper.”

Harry jumps at the chance to speak and then stutters to a stop. “I was – wait what?”

Louis clears his throat and raises his voice to a normal volume, “That’s my jumper. Left it at Zayn’s ages ago.”

Harry blinks in surprise and moves towards Louis slowly. He stops when their feet are touching and reaches out to take Louis’ cup from him and puts it on the counter before speaking again. One of his hands comes up to grip the corner of Louis’ shirt. “I didn’t know if I was allowed to call you after I left him. He’s your brother and I didn’t know if you were mad at me,” he sounds desperate as his grip tightens in Louis’ shirt.

Louis stays quiet.

“You were so angry after I kissed you. I didn’t think you wanted me like that but I thought if I stayed with Alex then at least I’d still get to see you.”

At that, Louis snaps his eyes up from the wall to Harry’s face. “I was angry because you kissed me like _that_ and then went back to Alex. I was angry _because_ I wanted you like that.”

He pushes down the hope bubbling up in his chest and continues, “I came to yours the second I realised you two were over. Except then Dayo – Harry, I was fucking – I have never felt so stupid in my life.”

Harry’s hand flattens against his hip and his eyes are big and earnest when they find Louis’. He can feel Harry’s breath on his cheek. “No. Please. I didn’t know what I was doing with Dayo. It was just once. I was so angry at Alex for wasting my time. Because – because I loved _you_ but I kept waking up with him.”

Louis closes his eyes and breathes out hard. When he looks back at Harry, his voice is barely above a whisper, “Lov _ed_?”

Harry is quick to close the gap between their mouths.

Louis is floored by how familiar the kiss feels even though he’s only had these lips on him once before. Harry cups his face in both hands and kisses him slowly, sucking on Louis’ bottom lip til he moans. Louis kisses him back and holds on to Harry’s hips hoping that his knees don’t give out. Harry pulls away and presses him back against the counter while kissing up his cheek. His hot breath puffs against Louis’ ear when he whispers, “Love. I _love_ you. _Shit_ , love you so much. You don't understand.”

Louis laughs at the absurdity of the last comment and pulls Harry back to his mouth by his hair. Harry pushes in closer and shoves his thigh between Louis’. He can feel Harry hard against him and whimpers when Harry palms at him through his joggers. He wants to lick Harry’s tattoos and feel Harry’ fingers pumping him. He wants Harry to fuck him against the wall and he wants Harry to eat him out til he cries.

He doesn’t realise he’s said it out loud until Harry swears around a moan and pushes him harder against the counter, grabbing his arse. “ _Fuck baby._ Lou, shit _._ ” Louis feels Harry’s thrusts get erratic before he comes against him. Louis follows quickly after when he feels Harry’s fingers grip into his arse hard enough to bruise. Louis is shaking and overwhelmed. He’s still catching his breath with Harry’s forehead against his temple when he realises that he never said it back.

“I love you,” Louis whispers against his cheek.

Harry mumbles a heartfelt, “ _Jesus Christ,”_ and kisses him again.

 

XxX

 

They wander out of Louis’ bedroom a few hours later to find something to eat. Louis opens the fridge to take a look and gets distracted when Harry wraps his arms around him from behind and mouths at a fresh love bite on his shoulder. They’re interrupted by Alex coughing in the door way.

Louis holds Harry’s hands where they are against his stomach before shutting the fridge and turning to face Alex.

Alex squares his shoulders and pulls himself up to his full height, clearly building up for a proper fight, irritation obvious on his face. However, he quickly deflates when Louis quirks an eyebrow as Ava appears next to him. Alex shuts his mouth and stares at the floor while Ava smiles and waves, oblivious to the tension in the room.

Harry mumbles a quick, “Hi Ava.”

Louis scoffs loudly in Alex’s direction and pulls Harry after him. They pick up some curry from the Indian place two streets down before heading to Niall’s.

Louis practically falls over laughing when Liam opens the door and Harry nearly growls. Liam looks confused but he lets Harry pass before pulling Louis into a hug. Louis reaches up to kiss him on the cheek and whisper in his ear, “I think we’re dating.”

Liam pulls back startled, “Um.”

Louis rolls his eyes and smacks him on the shoulder, “Not me and you, dickhead. Me and Harry.”

They go into the next room to find Zayn and Niall playing FIFA on the couch. Harry moves in close and puts an arm around Louis’ waist possessively. Liam smiles at Harry and playfully backs away with his hands in the air.

Later when Harry smiles and kisses him for getting him a fork, Zayn shoots him a pleased smile while Niall cackles, leant against Liam.

Louis lets Alex’s call ring out.

They crash on Niall’s couch for the night. Harry tightens his arms around Louis and kisses the back of his neck.

Louis dreams of the dinner they had that first night.

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this, you beautiful people. <3 kudos and comments would make my entire day. xx :)


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